Hi CW,
Regarding orientation, yes, your diagram is right - see the following link for confirmation.
http://search.murata.co.jp/Ceramy/image/img/A18X/C2EB3C.PDF
Regarding information on bending strength you want to talk to your local Murata office or distributor and get your hands on the following:
"Chip Monolithic Ceramic Capacitor Bending Strength Technical Data"
Unfortunately the version I have is from 1995 (Murata Ref: C05E), and the technology has moved on a lot since then, otherwise I would send it to you.
For your last request, I sorry I'm not an expert in that area, there are more qualified people on this forum who should be able to help you.
However: it is not recommended to use anything over 1206 size (3.2mm x 1.6mm) on solid metal PCB's due to the expansion & contraction during reflow, that leads to the cracking of ceramic capacitors - using a thick copper layer may replicate this somewhat. I think that this will be more of a problem with lead-free solders as there is still a slight elasticity in Tin/Lead solder after reflow.
Regarding minimum pitch (pad spacing)I think this would depend on what power your PCB will be handling & what approvals it holds.
Sorry that I can't be of more help,
Rob.
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